Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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