Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
