6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
and she was petting her beer can
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I would ride that face into the sunset
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
