and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
