You don't have asthma, your pregnant
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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