Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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