I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Pants are for mortals
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
