I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
