it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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