OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
