Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
