Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
