Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
May the power of my ass compel you!!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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