In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Shame - the story of my life.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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