Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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