I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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