It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
