it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
