yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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