I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
