actually, I'm a sock model
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
