I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
