Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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