Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
