don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
