At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
