I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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