Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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