Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My ass is underappreciated
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
