You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
