I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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