do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
