She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
