i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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