I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize