So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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