Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
