No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
