I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
