I CAN MOONWALK!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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