I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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