I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
