Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
