she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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