you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
