Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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