I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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