Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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