I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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