if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
How many fucks given?
0.12846
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
