Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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