Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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