8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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