you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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