last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
