I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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