my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
