check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.