one two three fourrrrnication!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
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He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
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i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.