So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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