check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
