do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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